Leaf Jumpers
A Journey from Home to School and Back Again
by
Nikki Schaefer
Photo © Richard A. McGuirk/Shutterstock |
“Mom, there’s just seven more days until the
first day of fall!” My six year old son announced, giving me the usual morning
fall countdown. “How are we going to celebrate? Can we jump in the leaves?”
“You bet!” I responded. “How about jumping in
the leaves and making caramel apples?”
“Hurray!!!” He cheered, with his younger sisters
jumping in on the excitement…
That was autumn – two years ago.
This was autumn last year….
“Look, Ben,” I said. We just raked the first
pile of leaves. Would you like to jump with us?”
“No. I don’t want to jump in the leaves.” My son
responded flatly, barely looking up at us or the giant leaf pile. His sisters
and I played while he just looked at his feet. My heart broke to see a boy of
such enthusiasm and spirit become a boy filled with disinterest.
What happened? Is the age jump from six to seven so drastic that
a boy who once got so excited about jumping in the leaves with his sisters no
longer cares? I doubt it. In my opinion, what happened was school.
My son was learning at home until last year. He learned to
read on his own out of love for reading; he had a natural passion for
numbers and facts and an innate zeal for life. Yet I started to question if
I could continue to meet the needs of this growing boy. Does he need more?
Can I give him enough? Does he need more social interaction? Then I started
to answer: He loves structure. He loves activity. He is so social. The
conclusion: He was made for school. It just seemed like the “right” thing to
do…and so we put him in.
Ben went from playing half of the day in the leaves with his
sisters to playing half of an hour on blacktop. He went from cuddling on the
couch with his family sharing his self-invented number games, reading and
storytelling, to sitting in a classroom in a hard desk with 31 other kids,
filling out worksheet after worksheet, raising his hand to talk, standing in
line – a lot – and keeping his mouth shut.
He went from lingering over lunch in his kitchen while
talking about the latest topic of interest, to gulping down his food quickly
in a loud lunchroom with concrete walls and little windows. It’s no wonder
that in just a short two month period this boy no longer wanted to play in
the leaves…his spirit had forgotten how. It just didn’t “fit” anymore. He
went from actively experiencing the wonders of life with his family, to
mundanely learning about his world on paper – with strangers. That was the
difference and what a big difference it was, indeed.
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"It’s no wonder that in just a short two month period this
boy no longer wanted to play in the leaves…his spirit had forgotten
how." |
Currently, with the way traditional schooling is run,
teachers are, for the most part, locked into a certain system. With 32 kids
in a classroom, it is impossible to cater education toward each child.
Children have to “wait” a lot because there are a lot of other kids to
“wait” for. It seems necessary to provide tight order and structure with
that many kids or chaos might take over. School must start at an early time
with a full seven hour day in order to fulfill government requirements. This
is the reality of most schools. And for some kids, school could be the best
place. For some families, school is the only choice believed to be right.
But for our family, it was not.
We went from sharing a peaceful breakfast with classical
music in the background to the frenzied sound of my own voice shouting,
“Hurry, Ben! We’re going to be late!” Dishes piled up in sink. Baby was
pulled out of her crib to get to school on time. We went from enjoying the
presence of a delightful boy, helpful leader and friend to his sisters, to
feeling a huge hole in his absence. We missed him and he missed us, and what
took the place was disconnect.
I took all of this in. I prayed about it a lot. I listened.
I journaled. I sought advice. The conclusion: I can choose something
different for my child and for my family. I can choose to life learn, and I
can choose to do it in a way that gives my child the freedom to be a child
and to actively celebrate and experience life within his family, his
community and within his world. I can choose to tell silly stories and read
fantastic books while snuggling on the couch. I can choose to allow
measurements to be discovered while baking cookies or making sand cakes at
the park. I can choose to trust in my own child’s creativity and capacity to
learn and in myself to provide a loving space for his spirit to unfold. In
doing so, my child will stay connected with himself, his family, his world
and his Creator in a deep and meaningful way. He will keep his “childhood”
vigor and joy, and his innate love for learning.
It is clear that we were meant to put Ben in school last
year. In doing so, we were able to see the change in our son. We were able
to feel the effects of school on our family. Because we put our son in
school, we can now “get off the fence” and jump in the leaves with home
schooling once more….
It is now autumn again and the school year has begun. My son
and I were just saying our night time thanksgivings after a day of reading
books, dancing in the kitchen and playing at the park. “What are you
thankful for today?” I asked.
“I am thankful that it’s getting colder,” he said, as his
eyes lit up. “Because that means we can jump in the leaves again!” I smiled
a deep smile and gave him a big hug. “I am thankful for that too, Ben…I am
thankful for that too.”
Nikki Schaefer is a wife and mother
to four life learning children who were ages 8, 7, 4, and 8 months when this
article was published in 2008. She is also a
licensed clinical social worker and former art therapist. Currently, in between
doing loads of laundry, diaper changing, song singing and park playing, Nikki
writes and illustrates articles and stories. She has written for several
parenting and homeschooling publications, illustrated for authors, and has five
picture books of her own that she is seeking a publisher for. To view Nikki’s
work or read her home schooling blog, go to www.nikkischaefer.com.
If you enjoy this article, you might also be interested in our magazine Life Learning.
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