The Change
Medical Problem or Spiritual Passage?
by Ellen Besso
|
Photo © Shutterstock
|
Four million Canadian women and more than ten times as many American women are dealing with menopausal issues. Perimenopause, which is the build-up to menopause, begins as early as 35 years of age. What if the combined voices of this legion of women led to a profound change in the way our society views menopause? That is my dream.
Our culture is both youth and action oriented. Every day we are bombarded with messages telling us to wake up, shape up, speed up and be happy! How often does anyone recommend that we slow down, ground ourselves and acknowledge the full range of emotions? Yet slowing down and paying attention to our internal yearnings is exactly what feeds us, particularly as women in the menopausal years.
The hormonal changes that begin in a woman’s 30s or 40s have a profound impact on a woman’s body and, in turn, on her whole being…physically, emotionally and spiritually. Dr. Christiane Northrup describes this as a whole body “circuitry update,” which affects our nervous system and our brains in particular.
When women feel the early stirrings of the Change, they often don’t realize what’s happening. They may experience such intense mood changes, irritability and anxiety that some women actually question their sanity. But there are biological explanations for all of this. For example, hormone fluctuations affect the hypothalmic part of the brain, which mediates strong emotions such as anger.
The menopausal years are a time when old emotional wounds surface. Northrup tells us that the hormonal changes facilitate the strong emotional reactions often experienced by women. It is the body-mind’s way of drawing our attention to unresolved emotional issues.
Allopathic medical doctors are trained to deal only with physical changes and often ignore emotional and spiritual concerns. So women are regularly given hormone replacement therapy and/or anti-depressants, while underlying issues are glossed over.
Unless we are informed and have a progressive health and personal support system, we may not know that other, more wholistic choices exist for rebalancing the body-mind. If symptoms are unmanageable, there is a wide range of options for women, from counseling to herbal remedies to acupuncture to meditation.
While a doctor’s advice about physical symptoms is often a good place to start, I have always viewed the menopausal years as a time to journey inside – an opportunity to heal old emotional wounds.
To me, nothing less than a complete life change is truly in order. Menopause demands that we adjust the way in which we live our lives…from the choices we make about how to spend our time to our physical health. Attending to the internal changes taking place and gently following our intuitive guidance requires time and attention, as well as support from others. I encourage you to speak up about your needs in all areas of your life, whether it be in the workplace, at home or in your healthcare choices.
The unconscious is more actively at work in us during these transition years, especially during our sleeping hours. Many women have powerful dreams and some keep dream journals. I know a woman who formed a dream group where women painted and processed their dreams.
During my perimenopausal time, I had a very powerful dream which has continued to inspire and guide me. In my dream, I climbed down into a cavern deep in the earth. It was a large meeting room with stone bleachers and colorful hangings and wraps. There, women received the nurturing they yearned for as they meditated and were healed. It was a place of renewal.
Most women between 35 and 55 don’t have much opportunity for renewal. They live fast-paced lives, with demanding jobs and family responsibilities. But there are ways to modify our lives. It all begins with a strong desire for change.
The Vietnamese Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that going back to ourselves connects us with life. Becoming clear about our own needs helps us find our voice in our own community and hence in society as a whole. Taking regular time out allows us to gain perspective on our lives and helps us with our stress. I invite you to try this “Personal Retreat:”
Personal Retreat
Carve out at least 30 minutes for yourself each day. Begin by sitting quietly with your eyes closed. Take a deep breath through your nose. Hold the breath for as long as it’s comfortable, then push out as much air as you can through your mouth. Do this three times. (Breathing this way every 15 to 30 minutes during the day will slow you down and oxygenate your body.)
This is your time to use in whatever way you want. Initially you may do absolutely nothing if your busy schedule has exhausted you. That’s just fine.
If and when you want to begin a small activity, I would suggest journaling in a notebook you’ve bought for just this purpose or walking in a quiet natural setting.
Over time, your personal retreat may become like my “cavern in the earth.” It will impact the way you live your life…the way you want to live your life. You’ll find that you become more and more aware of your needs. You may hear a small voice from within, gently guiding you. This is your inner wisdom.
You are the expert on you. Let your wise self gradually unfold. Have conversations with supportive, like-minded women to clarify what your needs are. These meetings could be as informal as a chat over coffee, or could be a formal support group. Whatever you choose to do, find your own unique way to give yourself the gift of time and space. Self-care is so vital at this time as our physical, emotional and spiritual needs are more immediate.
Menopause is not a sickness. It is an internal journey, a journey home to oneself, toward self-knowledge. It is from this place within that we find grounding and clarity. We take stock of where we’ve been and frame our future as vital women of wisdom.
We are on the cusp of an enormous social change. The needs of the vast number of women in the menopausal years are beginning to change the way we live. Our leisure interests, our healthcare choices, the products we buy, where we choose to live, all have a large impact on the society we live in. We have the power to influence our speedy, youth-driven culture. Articulating our choices can influence how our society views aging in positive ways. Ultimately this will make an enormous difference.
Learn More
The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup, MD (Bantam, 2003)
Menopausal Years, the Wise Woman Way, Alternatives for Women 30-90 by Susun Weed (Ash Tree Publishing, 1992)
Living Well with Menopause : What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You...That You Need To Know by Carolyn Chambers Clark (Collins, 2005)
The Pause: Positive Approaches to Premenopause and Menopause by Lonnie Barbach (Plume, 2000)
Herbal Healing for Women by Rosemary Gladstar (Fireside, 1993)
Dr. Susan Love’s Menopause and Hormone Book: Making Informed Choices by Susan M. Love (Three Rivers Press, 2003)
Ellen Besso is a Registered Clinical Counselor and Life Coach practicing in British Columbia, Canada. She has over 40 years experience helping women deal with extreme life challenges. She helps women identify and dissolve the limiting beliefs that keep them from doing what they feel passionate about.
|
