I have never attended school. In fact, I have never
even been on a school bus. I have always had friends of many different ages,
ethnicities, beliefs, and personalities, and have always had an insatiable
desire to learn about whatever I happen to be interested in. How did this
happen? It’s a long story.
I was born in 1996. My mom was a 20 year old single
mother with limited financial resources but lots of confidence and determination
to be the best mother she could possibly be. As I grew, my mom noticed that
I was very curious, open minded, and a very intelligent and self-starting
learner. I was also quite shy and introverted. By the time I was five years
old, I began to become obsessed with rocks, had memorized most of the periodic
table of elements, and had developed a keen interest in the world around
me through reading and frequent trips to museums and libraries (my mom sure
knew how to give me a quality education on a budget!). As a result, my mom
did not see the need to send me to school, as I was already well above my
grade level in most subjects (especially subjects of interest). She also
knew that my being an attached, curious, and quiet kid would not fit well
in a traditional public school, and thus school would not be the ideal educational
environment for me.
As you may have guessed by now, the educational choice
that my mom made was to homeschool. This may not seem like a very controversial
educational decision to make today, but at the time (I officially began
homeschooling in 2001) it was very controversial, especially given the fact
that at that time we lived in my grandparent’s house in an upper-middle
class neighborhood where every child was expected to go to school. Almost
as soon as my mom decided to homeschool me, and our neighbors never saw
the school bus come to our house, there was quite a fuss, to say the least.
My mom and I were often questioned (sometimes quite harshly) by friends,
family, neighbors, and random people regarding the validity of homeschooling,
and some of them would actually test me to see if I was on par with my traditionally-educated
peers. I was an intelligent kid, so the neighbors were probably quite disappointed
that I did so well on their tests! Despite the fact that we fulfilled all
of the homeschooling requirements of our state and that homeschooling was
a legal educational choice, many people felt very strongly against our decision
to homeschool.
For me, one of the greatest benefits of being educated
in this way was having ample time to explore and follow my interests. If
I wanted to spend three hours studying Greek myths or identifying rocks,
that was no problem at all. In fact, it was actually encouraged. Having
the time to follow whatever it was that I was interested in enabled me to
approach pursuing my interests in an in-depth way, rather than just skimming
the surface and then having to move on to a different topic. I have always
been an obsessive learner: I want to know as much as possible about my areas
of interest, so having the time to try things out, explore, and follow my
interests was a crucial aspect of my education.
While we did use some curriculum materials, the focus
was more on learning through doing and through simply living life. Errands
to the grocery store, for instance, taught me a lot about budgeting, basic
math, and how to select produce. Reading books allowed me to learn more
about my interests and spurred me on to read other related books and kick
started a very enjoyable and productive cycle of learning that has always
been a constant for me. Going to museums, farms, nature walks, the local
library, and other trips also gave me the opportunity to learn about what
I was interested in, as well as opening my mind to ideas and topics that
I may not have thought of otherwise. It was also just plain fun.
Another big benefit to having plenty of unstructured
free time was that I was given the time and space to think and process what
I was learning, as well as to process my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
In addition, I also had the privilege of enjoying a close relationship with
my immediate family, definitely enhanced by being able to spend a lot of
time with them; I am very grateful for that.
However, as I mentioned earlier, not all of my family
was supportive of my being homeschooled, and that, along with the majority
of my friends and neighbors coming from a traditionally educated background,
led me to briefly question my own education during my early teen years.
I would hear things like “you are missing out” from family and friends and
I would seriously wonder if I was actually missing out on something important
by not going to public school. However, because I grew up in a family that
was predominantly Catholic, I did have a formal education experience from
going to religion classes from ages seven to fourteen. Although at first
I was actively involved in the classes, by my early teens I was just going
through the motions and felt like I was not getting much out of it in terms
of actually learning. In retrospect, I am glad that I had to go to religion
classes because it gave me a peek into a traditional educational environment
and also made me gradually realize that I was not missing out on anything
important by being homeschooled. In fact, it seemed like I learned a whole
lot more and in a much more productive way by being homeschooled!
The questioning and criticisms continued steadily
until my mid-teen years, when it started to become obvious that I was an
intelligent, talented, and good person and was doing at least as well as
my traditionally-educated peers. While it didn’t go away overnight, the
questioning gradually became less and less frequent. By this time I was
an aspiring guitarist, and at age 16 I enrolled in Berklee College of Music’s
online school. During my time studying there, I had the privilege of taking
classes taught by incredible musicians who were and are very involved in
the music industry and I learned so much about guitar playing and overall
musicianship. By this point, the once constant questioning of my and my
mom’s decision to homeschool became nearly nonexistent, and has thankfully
been that way ever since.
By age 18, I had finished my Master certificate in
Guitar with a 4.0 GPA, had played in a band, and was beginning to play local
gigs as a solo acoustic guitarist/singer-songwriter. I was almost certain
that I wanted to get a Bachelor’s degree in music to better prepare me for
a career in the music industry. But I was not sure what college I wanted
to attend. Originally, I wanted to go to Berklee. However, the cost of tuition
and living on campus was way above what my family could afford and I did
want to commute from home if that was a possibility. My mom mentioned that
I might want to look into going to Nyack College, a local Christian college
that she claimed had a good music department.
At first, I was skeptical. I had never heard of the
music department of that college and I wanted to major in guitar performance,
a major that I had thought would not exist in a predominantly classical
music department. However, I went to an open house and was immediately struck
my how nice everyone seemed to be. Total strangers welcomed me like I had
known them for years! Then I met with the dean of the music department.
Many of the faculty had degrees from Julliard, Eastman, and other prominent
conservatories and universities and were also incredible musicians with
a great passion for and knowledge of music. Before this meeting I had the
subconscious assumption that a classical music department would either be
lackluster but consisting of mostly nice people or exceptional but generally
arrogant in temperament. Not so here! Once I found out that the music department
offered a degree in guitar performance, I knew that I wanted to apply to
Nyack.
However, there was one catch: I had to play classical
guitar in order to audition, and I would have to major in classical guitar
performance if I wanted to major in guitar. I had by then learned to play
many genres of music: rock, blues, folk, and some jazz, and didn’t really
feel the need to learn classical guitar. But I knew that I wanted to go
to this college and that I wanted to major in guitar. So after some deliberation,
I decided to take the plunge and teach myself classical guitar over the
summer so that I could audition. Although the classical guitar is tuned
the same as a normal acoustic or electric guitar, many of the techniques
required (especially right hand technique) are quite different from traditional
pick or fingerstyle playing. Thankfully, I was able to learn a few relatively
simple pieces for the audition and successfully auditioned towards the end
of the summer of 2014. The audition process involved me playing three pieces
for the dean (who recorded it for the other faculty to hear), as well as
an ear training component and a relatively brief interview. The dean was
impressed with my guitar playing and overall intellectual ability, and I
passed with flying colors and was awarded multiple scholarships. I was now
officially a Guitar Performance major!
Because I still had some reservations about studying
at a classical music school, I went part-time during my first semester.
I had a great experience during my first semester; I learned so much, and
got to know many of the other music majors and the music faculty. I also
made my first trip away from home without my parents by participating in
the annual Carol and Candlelight tour as part of the Handbell ensemble.
After my first semester at college, I knew that I made the right decision
and have been going to this college full-time for the past three years.
As of the time of this writing, I am headed into
my first semester senior year at college. I am so grateful to have found
a college that is such a great fit for me: terrific music department, so
many kind people, and a short commute that allows me to be able to live
off-campus with my parents and drive to class. I have been a high achiever
academically throughout my time in college and currently have a 3.96 cumulative
GPA.
While the transition from relaxed homeschooling to
formal higher education has in many ways been quite smooth (my mom is a
college professor, so I have been steeped in academia my entire life!),
I did experience some challenges along the way. As a homeschooler, I was
never an avid note taker and had to learn how to take notes on the main
points of classes and due dates for assignments, rather than on anything
that I happened to find interesting. I also had to work on improving the
neatness of my handwriting, as well as significantly improve my time management
skills. Also, I was not used to studying “for the test;” for me, learning
has always either been either for its own purpose or as part of achieving
a specific goal, usually of my own choosing. I still despise studying “for
the test,” but I understand that this type of studying is necessary to do
well in college, which is a goal of my own choosing. The fact that I chose
to pursue higher education and work towards completing a Bachelor’s degree
makes it more manageable for me to get through this and other requirements
that I may not enjoy but are necessary in order to complete my degree.
I feel that perhaps the best thing I learned as a
result of being homeschooled and being allowed to follow my interests is
that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to do. I know how to practice,
find relevant information, and find teachers/helpful people if necessary,
and I have the perseverance to follow through on doing what is necessary
to achieve my goals. Also, being allowed and encouraged to follow my interests
fostered in me a deep love of learning and a passion and curiosity about
the world that has never been extinguished. Rather than seeing learning
as a chore or nuisance, for me, learning is simply part of life. To live
is to learn, and I don’t see any reason why the two should be separated.
Having the time and space to think and process also
taught me a very valuable lesson that I only realized the importance of
later on: how to deal with boredom. If I was feeling bored as a kid, my
mom, rather than rushing to find an activity for me, would suggest a few
things to do, and if I didn’t want to do any of those things she would simply
reassure me that it was okay to be bored. Although I did not realize it
at the time, by being allowed to be bored I was able to learn how to entertain
myself rather than relying on a constant daze of fun and exciting activities.
As a result, I was able to appreciate the simple pleasures of life rather
than needing to be constantly entertained, a profound lesson that still
holds true for me today. The simple act of reading a book, taking a walk,
or practicing my guitar can transport me to a completely different world
without going anywhere. It also saves a lot of money!
As I have reflected on my homeschooling experience
during the course of writing this piece, at first glance it didn’t seem
to me that my experience was exceptional or even unique. Haven’t people
always learned this way until relatively recently? However, when I talk
to my friends, peers, and neighbors, I realize that the vast majority of
them have had totally different educational experiences, and I realize that
I have been very blessed and fortunate to have had the opportunity to learn
at my own pace primarily through simply living life and pursuing my interests.
Benjamin Riley is an accomplished classical
and acoustic guitarist, singer/songwriter, and writer. Ben is a graduate
of Berklee College of Music’s Online Master Guitar Certificate Program and
is a first semester senior Classical Guitar Performance Major at Nyack College.
He has performed as a solo classical and acoustic guitarist and singer/songwriter
at many venues throughout the Hudson Valley and beyond, as well as frequently
performing at Nyack College School of Music concerts both as a solo performer
and as an ensemble musician. In addition, he is a published writer, having
written three subject-specific articles for encyclopedias published by Grey
House Publishing.
